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My parents are making me crazy.They’re driving me utterly mad.I’m mental because of my mother.I’m losing it thanks to my dad.My mom tells me, “Go do your homework,”and dad’s yelling, “Vacuum the floors!”Then mom says, “Turn off the TV now,”and dad hollers, “Finish your chores!”With all of their grousing and griping,my brain is beginning to hurt.My dad’s shouting, “Clean up the kitchen!”My mom’s saying, “Tuck in your shirt!”I feel like I’m losing my marbles.If I go bananas today,then please give this note to my parentswhen the funny farm takes me away.
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A talkative man from SeattleWould spend his days speaking to cattle. When asked what he said One old cow shook her headAnd replied, “Why, it’s nothing but prattle!”
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Oh my darling,Oh my darling,Oh my darling,Frankenstein.How you pillagein the village,very scaryFrankenstein.Your creatorwas a doctorin a castlenear the Rhine.On a slabinside his labyou were constructedFrankenstein.Arms and legs andhead and torsothat the doctordid combine.Bolts of lighting,very frightning,gave you life dearFrankenstein.Then you rose upfrom the tablewith a bellowand a whine.You went lurching,simply searchingfor some dinner,Frankenstein.When the townsfolksaw you comingyou sent shiversdown their spines.So they chased youwith their pitchforksand their torchesFrankenstein.You escapedinto the forestwhere you hidamongst the pine.While the doc, hedid concoct me,yes a bridefor Frankenstein.We were marriedin the castle,and foreveryou’ll be mine.We’re a creaturedouble-feature,oh my darling,Frankenstein.
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If you’re feeling rather hungryand you really need to eat,you should try a hippo sandwich;it’s a satisfying treat.To prepare a hippo sandwichwith a minimum of fussget a loaf of bread, a pickleand a hippopotamus.If you do not like the flavor,don’t be worried, don’t be flustered,just add hippopotamayonnaiseand hippopotamustard.
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My elephant thinks I’m wonderful.My elephant thinks I’m cool.My elephant hangs around with meand follows me into school.My elephant likes the way I look.He thinks that I’m fun and smart.He thinks that I’m kind and generousand have a terrific heart.My elephant thinks I’m brave and bold.He’s proud of my strength and guts.But mostly he likes the way I smell.My elephant thinks I’m nuts.
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Mirror, mirror, by the sink,tell me what you truly think.Am I fat or am I thin?Will I lose or should I win?Am I short? Perhaps too tall?Are my ears a bit too small?Is my nose exactly right?Do I have an overbite?Am I weak or super strong?Is my hair too short or long?Am I smart or rather dumb?Can you say what I’ll become?Am I nerdy? Am I cool?Am I awful? Do I rule?Am I great or do I stink?Mirror, mirror by the sink.
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It’s windy and chillyand rainy and gray,but, still, I won’t needmy galoshes today.I’ll need no umbrella,no jacket or mittens.It’s not raining hard;only puppies and kittens.
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Swimming in the swimming poolis where I like to “B,”wearing underwater gogglesso that I can “C.”Yesterday, before I swam,I drank a cup of “T.”Now the pool is just an “ool”because I took a “P.”
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I saw you steal second base.I saw you kill some time.I saw you shoot some basketballs.I saw you flip a dime.I saw you cut some corners.I saw you stab in the dark.I even saw you punch the clockand take a swing at the park.I saw you beat a dozen eggs.I saw you strike a match.I saw you hit a hole-in-one.I saw you slam the hatch.I saw you kick the habit.I saw you crown the queen.I even saw you break the news.How did you get so mean?
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