Today I managed somethingthat I’ve never done before.I turned in this week’s spelling quizand got a perfect score.Although my score was perfectit appears I’m not too bright.I got a perfect zero;not a single answer right.
Oh, he flies down the hallwith the greatest of ease;the boy with the helmetand pads on his knees.The teachers give chaseas he panics and flees,and his skateboard is taken away.So, he zips through the hallon his scooter so fast.His classmates all giggleto see him sail past.For thirty eight secondshe’s having a blast,then his scooter is taken away.So, he runs in the hallwith a whoop and a shout.The kids can’t believeall the rules that he’ll flout.The Principal nabs him.It’s “three strikes, you’re out!”Now he sits in detention today.
The teacher passed out and fell right off her chair.My classmates are crying and gasping for air.The hamster is howling and hiding his head.The plants by the window are practically dead.There’s gas in the class; it’s completely my fault,and smells like a chemical weapons assault.So try to remember this lesson from me:Don’t take off your shoes in class after P.E.
A candy bar.A piece of cake.A lollipop.A chocolate shake.A jelly donut.Chocolate chips.Some gummy wormsand licorice whips.A candy cane.A lemon drop.Some bubblegumand soda pop.Vanilla wafers.Cherry punch.My mom slept inwhile I made lunch.
The tiger phoned the zebraand invited him to dine.He said “If you could join methat would simply be divine.”The zebra said “I thank you,but respectfully decline.I heard you ate the antelope;he was a friend of mine.”On hearing this the tiger cried”I must admit it’s true!I also ate the buffalo,the llama and the gnu.And yes I ate the warthog,the gazelle and kangaroo,but I could never eat a creaturebeautiful as you.”You see I have a secretI’m embarrassed to confide:I look on you with envyand a modicum of pride.Of all the creatures ever known,”the tiger gently sighed,”It seems we are the only twowith such a stripy hide.”Now seeing how we share thisstrong resemblance of the skin,I only can conclude that we arejust as close as kin.This means you are my brotherand, though fearsome I have been,I could not eat my brother,that would surely be a sin.”The zebra thought, and then replied”I’m certain you are right.The stripy coats we both possessare such a handsome sight!My brother, will you let mereconsider if I might?My calendar is empty soplease let us dine tonight.”The tiger met the zebra inhis brand-new fancy carand drove him to a restaurantwhich wasn’t very far.And when they both were seatedat a table near the bar,the zebra asked “What’s on the grill?”The tiger said “You are.”"But please, you cannot dine on me!”the outraged zebra cried.”To cook me up and eat meis a thing I can’t abide.You asked me for your trustand I unwarily complied.You said you could not eat menow you plan to have me fried?”"And what about the envyand the modicum of pride?And what of us as brotherssince we share a stripy hide?”"I’m sorry,” said the tigerand he smiled as he replied,”but I love the taste of zebraso, in other words, I lied.”
I have to write a poembut I really don’t know how.So maybe I’ll just make a rhymewith something dumb, like “cow.”Okay, I’ll write about a cow,but that’s so commonplace.I think I’ll have to make her be…a cow from outer space!My cow will need a helmetand a space suit and a ship.Of course, she’ll keep a blasterin the holster on her hip.She’ll hurtle through the galaxyon meteoric flightsto battle monkey aliensin huge karate fights.She’ll duel with laser saberswhile avoiding lava sprayto vanquish evil emperorsand always save the day.I hope the teacher likes my tale,”Amazing Astro Cow.”Yes, that’s the poem I will writeas soon as I learn how.
I’ve got a secret! Oh, I’ve got a secret!But I made a promise I wouldn’t repeat it.I’ve got a secret! Yes, I’ve got a secret!But I took an oath and I vowed I would keep it.Nothing and no one can make me revealthis wonderful secret I swore I’d conceal.No form of torture can make me disclose,this secret I promised I wouldn’t expose.From now until doomsday my secret I’ll keep,I won’t breathe a whisper or utter a peep.Unless you assure me that you’ll keep it too,Then maybe, just maybe, I’ll share it with you.
My dog is not the smartest dog alive.He seems to think that two and two is five.He’s sure Japan’s the capital of France.He says that submarines know how to dance.My dog declares that tigers grow on trees.He argues only antelopes eat cheese.He tells me that he’s twenty nine feet tall,then adds that ants are good at basketball.He claims to own a mansion on the moon;a palace that he bought from a baboon.He swears the sun is made of candy bars,and says he’s seen bananas play guitars.It seems to me my dog is pretty dense.He talks a lot, but doesn’t make much sense.Although I love my dog with all my heart,I have to say, he isn’t very smart.
I’ve cooked up a magical alphabet soupthat answers each question you pose it.Just ask it whatever you most want to know –it thinks of the answer and shows it.If you only knew what I’m thinking right nowI’m certain you’d probably hate it.Why don’t you try asking my alphabet soup.Whoops! You’re too late now — I ate it.
