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Peter Prim the Fire-Eater

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Peter Prim the fire-eaterate a propane camping heater,followed by a butane lighter,and a barbecue igniter.Next he drank some gasoline,and a quart of kerosene(or perhaps it was a liter;no one knows for sure but Peter).Last, to finish off the batchPeter ate a flaming match.Bits of Peter Prim, they say,lit a half a mile away(or perhaps a kilometer;who’s to say except for Peter?).Nothing more was seen of him.Rest in pieces, Peter Prim.

Slim Sam’s Ship Shop

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Slim Sam’s Ship Shopsells Sam’s shrimp ships.Trim Tom’s Chip Shopsells Tom’s shrimp chips.Slick Nick’s Snack Shacksells Nick’s stick snacks.Doc Jacques’ Slack Shacksells Jacques’ black slacks.Nick shops Jacques’ shack.Jacques sells Nick slacks.Jacques shops Nick’s shack.Nick sells Jacques snacks.Sam skips Tom’s shop.Tom’s shrimp chips drop.Tom skips Sam’s shop.Sam shrimp ships flop.Nick swaps snacks forDoc Jacques’ black slacks.Jacques’ swaps slacks forSlick Nick’s stick snacks.Sam, Tom skip shop?Chips drop, ships flop.Nick, Jacques shop shacks?Slacks and snacks swap.

The Dentist Pulled My Tooth Out

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The dentist pulled my tooth outand he thought it was such funhe grabbed his pliersand dental pryersand pulled another one.”Yippee! Hooray! What awesome fun!”he shouted out with glee.He grinned a grinthen went back inand pulled out number three.Then number four and number fiveand numbers six and sevenwere followed bya cheerful cryOf “Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven!”He took a few more from the topand some from underneath,he yanked them fastuntil at lasthe’d pulled out all my teeth.Without my teeth I cannot chew;I just eat soup and mush.But don’t be sadI’m kind of glad–I’ll never have to brush!

We’re Skydiving Elephants

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We’re skydiving elephants, bulging and bold.We’re dazzling and daring; a sight to behold.We leap from our airplane at dizzying heights,to soar through the sky on spectacular flights.Our airborne maneuvers are one-of-a-kind.We spin in the air with our trunks intertwined.We tuck and we tumble, we twist and we twirl.We somersault freely, we wiggle and whirl.We flip and we flutter while turning our tails,unfurling our ears like magnificent sails.We swivel and swim in a synchronized crawlor swan-dive in spirals as earthward we fall.The onlookers gawk in an awestricken tranceto witness our wonderful aerial dance.They clap at our kicks and rejoice at our rolls,and shriek as our landings leave walloping holes.

Mary Had a Little Lamb

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Mary had a little lambwhose fleece was worth some money.Now Mary’s filthy richbut her bald lamb looks kind of funny.

My Mouse is Rather Fond of Cheese

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My mouse is rather fond of cheesefrom hereabouts or overseaslike cheddars, parmesans and briesin brick or wheel or ball.He’ll eat ricotta, feta too,plus gorgonzola, gouda, blue,in sandwiches or cheese fondue,my mouse will eat them all.He’ll have havarti for a snack,a slice or two, and then a stackof mozarella, Swiss and jack,he thinks they’re oh so nice.But though my mouse and I agreewe both enjoy a tasty brie,I’ll miss my mouse because, you see,my cat is fond of mice.

Benson Baxter

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With a basketball, a bowling ball,and baseball bat he came.He had golf clubs, cleats and catcher’s mittsto help him in the game.He had Rollerblades and elbow padswith climbing ropes and straps,plus athletic shorts and running shoes to race a couple laps.He was schlepping all his scuba gear,his snorkel and his mask.He had suitable accessoriesfor nearly any task. He had helmets, hats and headgear.He had uniforms galore.Why, he even brought the costumeof a Spanish matador.But though Benson Baxter came preparedfor almost every sport,he forgot his tennis racquet,so they threw him off the court.

Swinging From the Lights

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We’re swinging from the lights.We’re standing on our chairs.We’re bouncing off the walls.We’re sliding down the stairs.We’re running in the halls.We’re slamming all the doors.We’re jumping off our desks.We’re skidding on the floors.We’d rather use the swings.We’d rather use the slide.Except today it’s rainingand recess is inside.

Lefty the Lifter

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Tonight I write of Lefty Wright,a lifter slightly gifted,who nightly lifted left and rightso deftly all he lifted.Lefty lifted, on his left,aloft a hefty crate.Lefty lifted, on his right,a slightly lighter weight.So though Lefty lifted deftly,shifting as he lifted,Lefty, listing swiftly leftly,drifted off a cliff did.Rites were read for Lefty Wrightto Wrights he left bereft.Despite his might, from quite a height,yes, Lefty Wright has left.