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固然伊丽莎白远在千里以外，我只能偶尔见到她，可是我们所具有的“永久是伴侣”的相框和挂盒能帮忙我们弥补彼此的忖量之情。所以，亲爱的孤单者，与伴侣分隔并没有那么糟，照片、信件、德律风、电子邮件和夸姣的记忆都能拉近伴侣之间的友情。Dear Arizona,My friend is moving in a month— and not just to a different neighborhood, but to a whole different country! I’m so sad, I can hardly think about anything else. I know you can’t make my friend’s family stay, but I’m hoping you’ll at least have some helpful ideas. — Already Lonely in LondonDear Already Lonely,The first thing I want to say is— I’m so sorry your friend is moving!The second thing I want to say is-are you from London, as in London, England? That is so exciting! Have you ever seen the Queen? Is it true that people there drive on the left side of the road? How big is Big Ben, really?OK,I guess I should stop asking questions and get back to your letter-which reminds me of how beyond and I was when my friend Elizabeth had to move.I met Elizabeth in my very first karate白手道 class. I was the only new kid in the class. Everyone else knew a lot of the moves already and had yellow or orange belts.I had a total beginner’s white belt and felt unbearably nervous the whole way through the class. I tried my hardest to follow along, but everything was way harder than I thought it would be.Afterward, as I was putting on my shoes, I was thinking, There is no way I am ever coming back to karate!And that’s when I met Elizabeth.”You did great!” I laughed. “I was so clueless无线索的，笨拙的!”"That’s how I felt at first, too,” she said. “If you want, I can help you practice.”"Really?” I said.”Sure. By the way, I’m Elizabeth.” She scribbled on the back of a karate schedule. “Here’s my number.”"Wow, that’s so nice of you!” I said.She smiled. “No problem.”Anyway, to make a long story short, I called her a few days later, and we’ve been amazing friends ever since.Now for the sad part. Not very long ago, Elizabeth had to move. Her family still lives in California, but if you know anything about my state, then you know it’s gigantic. And I’m not positive about the exact geographic details, but the distance Elizabeth moved was about the same as if she had moved from London to Paris!”You can’t move!” I screamed when she told me the terrible news.”I know. That’s what I told my parents,”she said. “But they said we don’ have a choice. We’e moving in with my grandparents, and I guess it’ll be way cheaper than where we live now.”"Wait! I have the perfect solution,”I said. “You and your parents can move in with my family! We can share my room, and it’ll be like having a sleepover在外过夜 every single night! I’ sure my parents will be totally cool with it.”"That would be so great!” said Elizabeth, then she sighed. “I wish we could do that. But there’s no way. My parents also want to be closer to my grandparents, so I think we’re definitely going.”So Elizabeth and I had to come up with a Plan B. A would have been, we were actually pretty happy about our solution. Here’s what we did.First, we asked my mom to take a picture of us together and help us print it out regular size and teeny-tiny size .We put the regular photos in special frames that we decorated Forever. I gave me the frame she decorated.Then, we cut the teeny-tiny picture of us in half. I put the half with Elizabeth’s face in my locket小盒式吊坠 necklace, and she put the half with my face in her locket necklace.So even though Elizabeth lives miles away and I only get to see her once in a while, our Friends Forever picture frames and lockets really do help with the “missing-you” part.Besides that, our parents let us e-mail sometimes, and we still get to talk and crack up together on the phone now and then偶尔，有时. Also, we love sending each other funny letters and packages filled with goofy傻瓜的，笨拙的 surprises.So, dear Already Lonely, being separated from your friend doesn’t have to be as bad as it seems right now. Photos, letters, phone calls, e-mails, and great memories can really and truly make a friend seem closer than he or she is.I hope these ideas help. As they say in London, “cheers” to you and your friend! And as I like to say…Ciao for now,Arizona

就在那天，我真正地成了一个母亲。我大白了做一个母亲，不但仅意味着要不雅看女儿的芭蕾舞，不是插手黉舍音乐会，不是把家打扫得明哲保身，不是筹办可口的饭菜，更不是对题目漠然置之。对我而言，对打翻的牛奶一笑了之，才是我真正成为一个母亲的开端。The day I became a mom was not the day my daughter was born, but seven years later. Up until（一向到） that day, I had been too busy trying to survive my abusive（辱骂的，滥用的） marriage. I had spent all my energy trying to run a “perfect” home that would pass inspection each evening, and I didn’t see that my baby girl had become a toddler（学步的小孩） . I’d tried endlessly to please someone who could never be pleased and suddenly realized that the years had slipped by（飞掠而过） and could never be recaptured.Oh, I had done the normal “motherly” things, like making sure my daughter got to ballet and tap and gym lessons. I went to all of her recitals（背诵，朗读） and school concerts, parent-teacher conferences and open houses – alone. I ran interference（干与，冲突） during my husband’s rages（狂怒，凶悍） when something was spilled（溢出，溅出） at the dinner table, telling her, “It will be okay, Honey. Daddy’s not really mad at you.” I did all I could to protect her from hearing the awful shouting and accusations（控告，责备谴责） after he returned from a night of drinking. Finally I did the best thing I could do for my daughter and myself: I removed us from the home that wasn’t really a home at all.That day I became a mom was the day my daughter and I were sitting in our new home having a calm, quiet dinner just as I had always wanted for her. We were talking about what she had done in school and suddenly her little hand knocked over（打翻，撞倒） the full glass of chocolate milk by her plate. As I watched the white tablecloth and freshly painted white wall become dark brown, I looked at her small face. It was filled with fear, knowing what the outcome of the event would have meant only a week before in her father’s presence. When I saw that look on her face and looked at the chocolate milk running down the wall, I simply started laughing. I am sure she thought I was crazy, but then she must have realized that I was thinking, “It’s a good thing your father isn’t here!” She started laughing with me, and we laughed until we cried. They were tears of joy（喜极而泣） and peace and were the first of many tears that we cried together. That was the day we knew that we were going to be okay.Whenever either of us spills something, even now, seventeen years later, she says, “Remember the day I spilled the chocolate milk? I knew that day that you had done the right thing for us, and I will never forget it.”That was the day I really became a mom. I discovered that being a mom isn’t only going to ballet, and tap and gym recitals, and attending every school concert and open house. It isn’t keeping a spotless house and preparing perfect meals. It certainly isn’t pretending things are normal when they are not. For me, being a mom started when I could laugh over spilled milk.

“If I never saw this kid again, Lord, I wouldn’t be sorry!” I thought. Tears clouded my eyes as I stood in our laundry room（洗衣间） . Clenched（紧握的） in both hands were new jeans and a shirt belonging to my 16-year-old stepson, Brett. The clothing was already destroyed from burn holes and vomit stains（污点） after a drunken binge（狂欢，纵容） .Exhausted and defeated, I sank to the floor. The clothes were just one more thing Brett had ruined. He had already kicked a large hole in his bedroom wall; his bedcovers（床罩） were torn. Numerous windows in our house needed repair due to his breaking in to steal money when he chose to live on the street. Yet none of this could compare to the emotional damage Brett had inflicted（蒙受，赐与） on our once quiet home.I knew that Brett’s needs were deep, and I had often prayed for wisdom and love. The second greatest commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” had taken on new meaning when Brett came to live with us when he was 12 years old. If I were to love my neighbor, was I not to love my own troubled stepson even more?During those four years I had dealt with Brett as patiently as possible, but inside I was churning. “I don’t want him in my house another day, Lord,” I cried as I knelt on the laundry room floor. “I just can’t stand him!”Chest heaving, I poured out my despair. Then God tenderly spoke to me in my weakness. Matthew 25:35-40 rose in my thoughts—Jesus’ declaration that when we invite a stranger, feed the hungry, clothe the naked or visit those in prison, we are doing it as unto Him. For the first time I saw this story in light of the action words. Jesus was saying, “Act. Meet these people’s needs. Through your actions you are loving them and Me.”God’s encouragement to me that day helped me to gather strength and continue parenting Brett. Still, Brett did not change his behavior.When Brett was nearly 18, he landed again in Juvenile Hall, this time on suicide watch. Through prayer, my husband, Dave, and I sensed God’s leading to send Brett to a boarding school（寄宿黉舍） with a high success rate for helping troubled teens.The psychological training at Brett’s school was rigorous（严格的，严格的） . Out of more than 20 people in his class, Brett was one of only five graduates.At the graduation ceremony the graduates stood one by one to thank those who had helped them. Each graduate held a long-stemmed, white rosebud to give to the person who had meant the most to him or her.Brett spoke lovingly to his mother and father and for the first time took responsibility for the heartaches he had caused.Finally Brett spoke to me. “You did so much,” he said. “You were always there, no matter what. My mom and dad, I was their kid. But you just got stuck with me. All the same you always showed me such love. And I want you to know that I love you for it.”Stunned, I stood as Brett placed the white rosebud in my hand and hugged me hard.At that moment I realized the truth in God’s words to me. Although I had struggled with silent anger toward my stepson, Brett had seen only my actions.Love is action. We may not always have positive feelings about certain people in our lives. But we can love them.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that thankfulness is indeed a virtue. — William BennettThanksgiving Day was near. The first grade teacher gave her class a fun assignment— to draw a picture of something for which they were thankful.Most of the class might be considered economically（经济地，俭仆地） disadvantaged, but still many would celebrate the holiday with turkey and other traditional goodies（好吃的东西，老妇人） of the season. These, the teacher thought, would be the subjects of most of her students’ art. And they were.But Douglas made a different kind of picture. Douglas was a different kind of boy. He was the teacher’s true child of misery（疾苦，悲惨） , frail（衰弱的，脆弱的） and unhappy. As other children played at recess, Douglas was likely to stand close by her side. One could only guess at the pain Douglas felt behind those sad eyes.Yes, his picture was different. When asked to draw a picture of something for which he was thankful, he drew a hand. Nothing else. Just an empty hand.His abstract（抽象的，艰深的） image captured the imagination of his peers（平辈，同事） . Whose hand could it be? One child guessed it was the hand of a farmer, because farmers raise turkeys. Another suggested a police officer, because the police protect and care for people. Still others guessed it was the hand of God, for God feeds us. And so the discussion went— until the teacher almost forgot the young artist himself.When the children had gone on to other assignments, she paused at Douglas’ desk, bent down, and asked him whose hand it was. The little boy looked away and murmured（喃喃地说，细语） , “It’s yours, teacher.”She recalled the times she had taken his hand and walked with him here or there, as she had the other students. How often had she said, “Take my hand, Douglas, we’ll go outside.” Or, “Let me show you how to hold your pencil.” Or, “Let’s do this together.” Douglas was most thankful for his teacher’s hand.Brushing aside a tear, she went on with her work.The story speaks of more than thankfulness. It says something about teachers teaching and parents parenting and friends showing friendship, and how much it means to the Douglases of the world. They might not always say thanks, but they’ll remember the hand that reaches out（伸出） .

For years I wanted a flower garden. I’d spend hours thinking of different things I could plant that would look nice together.But then we had Matthew. And Marvin. And the twins, Alisa and Alan. And then Helen. Five children. I was too busy raising them to grow a garden.Money was tight, as well as time. Often when my children were little, one of them would want something that cost too much, and I’d have to say, “Do you see a money tree outside? Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”Finally, all five got through high school and college and were off on their own. I started thinking again about having a garden.I wasn’t sure, though. I mean, gardens do cost money, and after all these years I was used to living on a pretty lean（窘蹙的） , no-frills budget.Then, one spring morning, on Mother’s Day, I was working in my kitchen. Suddenly, I realized that cars were tooting（吹奏，狂欢） their horns as they drove by. I looked out the window and there was a new tree, planted right in my yard. I thought it must be a weeping willow（垂柳） , because I saw things blowing around on all its branches. Then I put my glasses on – and I couldn’t believe what I saw.There was a money tree in my yard!I went outside to look. It was true! There were dollar bills, one hundred of them, taped all over that tree. Think of all the garden flowers I could buy with one hundred dollars! There was also a note attached: “IOU eight hours of digging time. Love, Marvin.”Marvin kept his promise, too. He dug up a nice ten-by-fifteen foot bed for me. And my other children bought me tools, ornaments（装潢品） , a trellis（格子，框架） , a sunflower stepping stone and gardening books.That was three years ago. My garden’s now very pretty, just like I wanted. When I go out and weed（除草，肃除） or tend my flowers, I don’t seem to miss my children as much as I once did. It feels like they’re right there with me.I live up in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where winters are long and cold, and summers are way too short. But every year now, when winter sets in, I look out my window and think of the flowers I’ll see next spring in my little garden. I think about what my children did for me, and I get tears in my eyes – every time.I’m still not sure that money grows on trees. But I know love does!

“No difference in the past, non-attachment the future, do not play on the now. Anju now, and happy to live the moment”, which Buddhist（佛教徒） Feeling deep sentence, which fell heart, the mind immediately let me have far-reaching everywhere cool.The moment, how to attract, how temptation（勾引，诱惑） . It is readily available, but fleeting（飞逝的，转眼的） . Where the snow is like a cold wind plum, frozen ice core incense（喷鼻气） , but also lonely and also gorgeous（富丽的，光辉的） . Also like the warm touch of spring green where it faces the prospect of Tucui also delicate tender again.And now, and is now, that is not lost treasure in time, before you regret You quietly walked here and now. To me, it is now a tea, a book, a flower, a song, and even a tiny ladybug（瓢虫） , with their ordinary, but they can give me a heart filled with wonderful, original, I was in such a manner like now, like the Enron itself here and now.Yes, everything around arouses love, even if it is a small friction（摩擦） happy with me, here and now, love and hate have become a deeper appreciation, without much deliberate, without too much cover up, just a bit simple, a little wonderful heart, until we slowly this time, spending just right.So, ordinary times where it is a good day and day, and obviously have arouses pity. A non-dye heart, a little Zen itself, so that the days wonderful, there are cavity（洞，腔） tune. Life has been so calm and comfortable, so smooth, noisy and impetuous（打动的，狠恶的） , I am far away from, I just want a quiet clear in jealously guarding its Rin, in the flat to enjoy a mild taste of the joy of a lonely.This world is intricate（复杂的，错综的） , and criss-cross, wrapped around wrapped（卷绕的，环抱的） around a bit with little trouble runs through the mind, what little trouble, if not pay attention to it, will gradually disappear, if it has repeatedly missed it, retaining possession of it, it will be more and more intractable（强硬的，毒手的） . Buddhist phrase: “hungry to eat, sleep on sleep.” It is simple and it is normal. May ask, how many people dull this world, sleep can not rest .If we do not want to hurt I just want peace of mind to live in quiet air, then we must be clued. Avoidance has been much stronger than a mass of bruises, we are only targeted at serious walking, not artificial, not hypocrites（伪君子） , do not behave themselves, but must not be presumptuous（跋扈的，猖獗的） arrogance. We are only targeted optimistic about their own now, it has been exceeded, more exciting.

Golden sunlight danced in the treetops, and children’s laughter filled the park. The smell of popcorn played on（吹奏，产生影响） the breeze, and life seemed good. It was one of the happiest Saturday mornings I had spent with my little daughter, Gigi.That is, until two strangers threw her into their car and sped away. It seemed like a bad dream. I could barely whisper when the police questioned me. For hours we waited, but there was no word on the whereabouts（下落，行迹） of the car. Tears would start to come. Then nothing. I was numb with fear.”Go home, Ma’am,” the sergeant（军士） said. “I’ll have an officer drive you. We’ll also want to monitor your telephone. The kidnappers might call, and we’ll want to get a trace. Trust me, these guys can’t get far.” After what had just happened, it was hard for me to trust anything.My friend Gloria came over（过来，趁便来访） that afternoon. “I heard about Gigi on the radio,” she said. “Everyone is looking for the car. The interstates are all blocked.” She took my hand.”Look here,” Gloria said. “I want you have this picture, and I want you to pray with me.”It was a picture of a little girl sound asleep（睡熟） in her bed. Standing by the bed was a tall, blond angel. His hand was touching the girl’s shoulder as he smiled down at her.My nerves were frazzled（怠倦的） . “You know I don’t believe in that kind of thing!” I snapped. “I’m too exhausted for any hocus-pocus（戏法，哄骗） right now, Gloria! I want my daughter home!” I started to shake, and then I began sobbing（抽泣，哭诉） .Gloria placed the photo on our mantle（地幔，大氅） and knelt down beside me. “Just pray with me,” she said, holding my hand.I had no strength left, so we prayed and waited what seemed an eternity. Together, we waited by the phone until sundown. The phone never rang.Suddenly, the front door swung open. I looked up and screamed.There stood Gigi. “Gigi! Thank God!” I cried, throwing my arms around her. “Where did those men take you? How did you get home? Did the police find you?”"No Mommy!” said Gigi. “I was real scared because those men said they were taking me far away. We were going real fast on an old rock road I’d never seen before. But then a tall man walked out in front of the car, and they ran off the road and hit a tree.Then the tall man ran up and opened the car door and pulled me out. He was real nice, and said I would be okay now, and that those men couldn’t hurt me. I must have gone to sleep, because then I woke up here in front of our house. He must have brought me home.”"But who … how did he know … where to bring you?” My voice broke and trailed to a whisper.”I don’t know, Mommy,” Gigi said. “But he was real friendly, and I wasn’t scared of him at all.”Just then Gigi noticed Gloria’s picture on the mantle. “That’s him!” She squealed（尖叫） , pointing at the picture. “Mommy, the tall blond man dressed like an angel. That’s the man that pulled me out of the car!”I felt chill-bumps across my neck and arms. Gloria turned pale. “Are you sure that’s the man?” Gloria asked.”Yeah, that’s him okay. Except he didn’t have wings, and he was wearing blue jeans and a tee shirt. But that’s him exactly. I’d remember him anywhere!”Later that night, the police found the injured kidnappers in their wrecked car fifty miles from our home. When questioned, the driver remembered swerving（迂回） to avoid hitting a tall blond man. The backseat door that Gigi sat by had been completely torn off（撕破） its hinges（搭钮，合页） .Twenty years have gone by. We have never heard from anyone claiming to have rescued Gigi. There have been no logical explanations for Gigi’s miraculous（不成思议的，古迹的） escape and return home from a wreck so far away.There have always been things that people can’t explain. But, from that day forward, I’ve never doubted that many of those things are divine（神圣的，不凡的） miracles. I believe that all experiences, positive and negative, are given to us for our strengthening and learning.Gigi now takes her little girl to the park on Saturdays. They enjoy the sunlight as it dances in the treetops, the smell of popcorn, and the laughter of children. She keeps Gloria’s picture on her mantle, and she remembers her angelic friend. And, like my daughter, I have a faith that has carried me through many trials since that day many years ago.

There are some people who are completely happy with themselves, their lives, and their prospects for the future. While they can be considered to be more fortunate than most, most who do not fall into that category are not as bad off（景况不好的，贫困的） as they tend to believe. Instead, they are simply lacking something, or making mistakes, which are standing in the way of their lives being as fulfilling as they would prefer. Some even go as far as to not realize the immense（复杂的） potential they possess.What is the main difference between those lucky individuals whose lives seem to be wonderfully on-track and those who, often despite every step of trying on their part, appear to have all of the odds stacked against（使晦气于） them? While in some cases it is a matter of some people having better luck than others, those whose lives are content in the moment and proceeding in the direction of their choice, do not live in the past.Whether you are thinking about your personality or your life in general, success means focusing on the here-and-now. While it is important to acknowledge the choices and experiences which resulted in you being where you are today, it is equally important to not allow yourself to become so caught up in thoughts of the past that the present day passes you by.Self-motivation is the key to ensuring that you do not continue repeating the same mistakes. You may have had one or more errors in judgment which led you to take the wrong path, or to make mistakes that were not in your best interest. You can acknowledge this without rehashing（重散列） them over and over again in your mind, and simply be determined to make different, better decisions today.Then is over; this is now. The less time and effort you put into looking at the past, the more you will have for living and experiencing this day. You will also find that letting go of the past will give you a deeper sense of strength. Instead of allowing past mistakes and worries to drain your energies, you will have a renewed energy to live your life to the fullest and enjoy it more.Being content with yourself and optimistic about your future is not difficult. Whatever is in the past is over; learn from it and move on. When you are self-motivated enough to do this, you will see that moving ahead is the best definition of living life.With that said, what can you do now? Sure it is easy for me to tell you to forget the past, yet it is a whole different practice to actually do it. Life is a complex set of events much of which of course is real, yet a large amount is just your view of what really happened.Let me explain with an example. I know not everyone is a football fan but I am guessing most have watched at least part of a game on TV. Most plays and almost all the important plays are played over and over on the TV screen right after the play happened.How many times have you watched a play and were certain and I mean certain of the outcome, say the player caught a pass, then watching the instant replay you realize you were totally wrong, the player dropped the pass. What you were certain you saw, never happened.The first step in trying to minimize the effects of your past in order to concentrate on your future is to find out how much of the past that you are certain happened were just mistakes on your part.A quick example might be as a teenager you tried to build a piece of furniture out of scrape wood in your father’s workshop. The piece of furniture looked good when you finished but fell apart before you could show your father and you assumed your were a lousy（讨厌的，污秽的） carpenter（木工，木工） and the rest of your life you have avoided building anything. Yet the reality was the scrap wood you used was faulty and not your building ability.Yet the rest of your life you have believed mistakenly you are a poor builder of things.

It is the true test of how human we really are. How much we can accept in our fellow humans. And really how much we want to accept. If we accept too much does that make us strong. And if we don’t accept enough does that make us weak. Or is it the other way around（从相反标的目标，倒过来） ?All these things are a true test of how much you are capable of loving.We all are born into this world with one thought – I shall love and be loved.I am not afraid of love I am afraid of what too much love for the wrong reasons can do. It can make you into a person that you don’t know you have become until it is all-wrong.Until the day you look in the mirror and the reflection is not yours.We marry our true love and then as time goes by we tend to lose whom we once were. And if we can’t find ourselves during this time of marriage then we become a shell that will eventually crack. And your marriage will soon become a divorce statistic（统计数值） .Marriage is commitment to the love you have for someone but it should not be the end of your identity. Because if you let it then you will truly Love You But Hate You.Kahlil Gibran best said it many years ago in The Prophet on Marriage:We need to remember that I will love you but I will not become you. I will not allow us to become one. Love when people are like meet my other half – what? And especially when they throw in the humor meet my better half. It’s there way of being all happy and cute. But is it setting yourselves up for a relationship that in time will fail? I guess it all depends on how independent of a person you were prior to（之前，居先） becoming one. And will losing your independence really be an issue.So don’t be duped（棍骗，愚弄） into the relationship tricks. Be yourself and enjoy your partner as himself or herself not as you want them to be. Because you did fall in love with them knowing who they are.