四六级考试网

“Of all the misconceptions（弊端的设法） about love, the most powerful and pervasive（遍及深切的） is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations（闪现，暗示） of love.” — M. SCOTT PECKPeople who are married or in committed（果断的，尽忠的） relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?The answers to these questions are plentiful, but the main reason is simple. It’s easy to “fall” in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our “smartest” choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it’s one of the major ingredients（成分，身分） in life-long success for men and women. “It lengthens life, substantially boosts physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or divorced people or those who live together,” reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.So let’s wake up, make up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with what’s really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file for divorce say they didn’t think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee, it’s often too late.Truly there is no reason to resign（告退，放弃） yourself to a bad relationship? Whether you’re dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicamen（窘况，窘境） again, you can learn to have a fabulous（难以置信的，极好的） relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the “problem” is yours. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can’t run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a “safe” relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don’t know how to validate（验证） each other (that frustration escalates to become anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for “fighting fair” are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different “childhood wounds” that we’re trying to heal. While it may seem like we’re from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy（性行动，密切） . We only behave differently in our quests for（寻求，摸索） closeness. Stop doing what you think is “fair” or “right” and start doing what works! It’s not about “working harder” it’s about “working smarter”.

A young man sees a sunset and, unable to understand or to express the emotion that it rouses in him, concludes that it must be the gateway to world that lies beyond.It is difficult for any of us in moments of intense aesthetic（美的） experience to resist the suggestion that we are catching a glimpse of a light that shines down to us from a different realm of existence,different and, because the experience is intensely moving, in some way higher.And, though the gleams blind and dazzle（刺眼的光，光辉） , yet do they convey a hint of beauty and serenity GREater than we have known or imagined.Greater too than we can describe;for language, which was invented to convey the meanings of this world, cannot readily be fitted to the uses of another.That all great has this power of suggesting a world beyond is undeniable. In some moods, Nature shares it.There is no sky in June so blue that it does not point forward to a bluer,no sunset so beautiful that it does not waken the vision of a greater beauty, a vision which passes before it is fully glimpsed, and in passing leaves and indefinable longing and regret.But, if this world is not merely a bad joke, life a vulgar flare amid the cool radiance of the stars,and existence an empty laugh braying（捣碎） across the mysteries;if these intimations（暗示） of a something behind and beyond are not evil humour born of indigestion（消化不良） , or whimsies（怪动机） sent by the devil to mock and madden us.if, in a word, beauty means something, yet we must not seek to interpret the meaning.If we glimpse the unutterable, it is unwise to try to utter it,nor should we seek to invest with significance that which we cannot grasp.Beauty in terms of our human meanings is meaningless.

Mr. Dawson was an old grouch（心怀不满，抱怨） , and everyone in town knew it. Kids knew not to go into his yard to pick a delicious apple, even off the ground, because old Dawson, they said, would come after you with his ball bullet gun.One Friday, 12-year-old Janet was going to stay all night with her friend Amy. They had to walk by Dawson’s house on the way to Amy’s house, but as they got close Janet saw him sitting on his front porch and suggested they cross over to the other side of the street. Like most of the children, she was scared of the old man because of the stories she’d heard about him.Amy said not to worry, Mr. Dawson wouldn’t hurt anyone. Still, Janet was growing more nervous with each step closer to the old man’s house. When they got close enough, Dawson looked up with his usual frown, but when he saw it was Amy, a broad smile changed his entire face as he said, “Hello Miss Amy. I see you’ve got a little friend with you today.”Amy smiled back and told him Janet was staying overnight and they were going to listen to music and play games. Dawson told them that sounded fun, and offered them each a fresh picked apple off his tree. They gladly accepted. Dawson had the best apples in town.When they got out of Dawson on earshot, Janet asked Amy, “Everyone says he’s the meanest man in town. How come was he so nice to us?”Amy explained that when she first started walking past his house he wasn’t very friendly and she was afraid of him, but she pretended he was wearing an invisible smile and so she always smiled back at him. It took a while, but one day he half-smiled back at her.After some more time, he started smiling real smiles and then started talking to her. Just a “hello” at first, then more. She said he always offers her an apple now, and is always very kind.”An invisible smile?” questioned Janet.”Yes,” answered Amy, “my grandma told me that if I pretended I wasn’t afraid and pretended he was smiling an invisible smile at me and I smiled back at him, that sooner or later he would really smile. Grandma says smiles are contagious（感染性的） .”If we remember what Amy’s grandma said, that everyone wears an invisible smile, we too will find that most people can’t resist our smile after a while.We’re always on the go trying to accomplish so much, aren’s we? Getting groceries（杂货，食品） , cleaning the house, mowing the lawn – there’s always something. It’s so easy to get caught up in everyday life that we forget how simple it can be to bring cheer to ourselves and others. Giving a smile away takes so little effort and time, let’s make sure that we’ve not the one that others have to pretend is wearing an invisible smile.

The Board Meeting had come to an end. Bob started to stand up and jostled（推挤，撞） the table, spilling his coffee over his notes. “How embarrassing. I am getting so clumsy in my old age.”Everyone had a good laugh, and soon we were all telling stories of our most embarrassing moments. It came around to Frank who sat quietly listening to the others. Someone said, “Come on, Frank. Tell us your most embarrassing moment.”Frank laughed and began to tell us of his childhood. “I grew up in San Pedro. My Dad was a fisherman, and he loved the sea. He had his own boat, but it was hard making a living on the sea. He worked hard and would stay out until he caught enough to feed the family. Not just enough for our family, but also for his Mom and Dad and the other kids that were still at home.”He looked at us and said, “I wish you could have met my Dad. He was a big man, and he was strong from pulling the nets and fighting the seas for his catch. When you got close to him, he smelled like the ocean. He would wear his old canvas（帆布） , foul-weather coat and his bibbed overalls（工装裤，工作裤） . His rain hat would be pulled down over his brow（眉毛） . No matter how much my Mother washed them, they would still smell of the sea and of fish.”Frank’s voice dropped a bit. “When the weather was bad he would drive me to school. He had this old truck that he used in his fishing business. That truck was older than he was. It would wheeze（喘气） and rattle down the road. You could hear it coming for blocks. As he would drive toward the school,I would shrink down into the seat hoping to disappear. Half the time, he would slam to a stop and the old truck would belch（打嗝，喷出） a cloud of smoke. He would pull right up in front, and it seemed like everybody would be standing around and watching. Then he would lean over and give me a big kiss on the cheek and tell me to be a good boy. It was so embarrassing for me. Here, I was twelve years old, and my Dad would lean over and kiss me goodbye!”He paused and then went on, “I remember the day I decided I was too old for a goodbye kiss. When we got to the school and came to a stop, he had his usual big smile. He started to lean toward me, but I put my hand up and said, ‘No, Dad.’It was the first time I had ever talked to him that way, and he had this surprised look on his face.I said, ‘Dad, I’m too old for a goodbye kiss. I’m too old for any kind of kiss.’My Dad looked at me for the longest time, and his eyes started to tear up. I had never seen him cry. He turned and looked out the windshield（挡风玻璃） . ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘You are a big boy….a man. I won’t kiss you anymore.’”Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears began to well up in his eyes, as he spoke. “It wasn’t long after that when my Dad went to sea and never came back. It was a day when most of the fleet stayed in, but not Dad. He had a big family to feed. They found his boat adrift with its nets half in and half out. He must have gotten into a gale（大风，暴风） and was trying to save the nets and the floats.”I looked at Frank and saw that tears were running down his cheeks. Frank spoke again. “Guys, you don’t know what I would give to have my Dad give me just one more kiss on the cheek….to feel his rough old face….to smell the ocean on him….to feel his arm around my neck. I wish I had been a man then. If I had been a man, I would never have told my Dad I was too old for a goodbye kiss.”

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming（宣布，声明） that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered, and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a flaw in it.Suddenly, an old man appeared and said, “Why, your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine!”The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit quite right, and there were several jagged（锯齿状的） edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges（沟） where whole pieces were missing.The young man laughed. “Comparing your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars.”"Yes,” said the old man, “Yours looks perfect but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart that fits into the empty place in my heart.”But because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.”Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his or her heart to me. These are the empty gouges – giving love is taking a chance.”Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for those people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I’ve been waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?”The young man walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man.The old man placed it in his heart, then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man’s heart flowed into his.They embraced and walked away side by side.How sad it must be to go through life with a whole untouched heart!

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice it is small, but we do not criticize it as “rootless and stemless.” We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment（食品，营养） required of a seed.When it first shoots up（射出，抽芽） out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped, nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place, and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development.The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change: Yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.A flower is not better when it blooms than when it is merely a bud; at each stage it is the same thing a flower in the process of expressing its potential.

One windy spring day, I observed young people having fun using the wind to fly their kites. Multicolored creations of varying shapes and sizes filled the skies like beautiful birds darting（突进，猛冲） and dancing. As the strong winds gusted against the kites, a string kept them in check.Instead of blowing away with the wind, they arose against it to achieve great heights. They shook and pulled, but the restraining string and the cumbersome（粗笨的，累坠的） tail kept them in tow, facing upward and against the wind. As the kites struggled and trembled against the string, they seemed to say, “Let me go! Let me go! I want to be free!” They soared beautifully even as they fought the restriction of the string. Finally, one of the kites succeeded in breaking loose（摆脱，摆脱） . “Free at last,” it seemed to say. “Free to fly with the wind.”Yet freedom from restraint（按捺，束缚） simply put it at the mercy of an unsympathetic breeze. It fluttered ungracefully to the ground and landed in a tangled（混乱的，纠缠的） mass of weeds and string against a dead bush. “Free at last” free to lie powerless in the dirt, to be blown helplessly along the ground, and to lodge lifeless against the first obstruction.Let us each rise to the great heights, recognizing that some of the restraints that we may chafe（擦伤，摩擦） under are actually the steadying force that helps us ascend and achieve.

The poor are very wonderful people.One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street. And one of them was in a most terrible condition，and I told the sisters: You take care of the other three. I take care of this one who looked worse. So I did for her all that my love can do.I put her in bed, and there was such a beautiful smile on her face. She took hold of my hand as she said just the words “thank you” and she died. I could not help but examine my conscience（知己） before her and I asked what would I say if I was in her place.And my answer was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to myself. I would have said I am hungry, that I am dying, I am cold, I am in pain, or something, but she gave me much more-she gave me her grateful love. And she died with a smile on her face. As did that man whom we picked up from the drain（暗沟，下水道） , half eaten with worms（蠕虫） , and we brought him to the home. “I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for.”And it was so wonderful to see the greatness of that man who could speak like that, who could die like that without blaming anybody, without cursing anybody, without comparing anything. Like an angel-this is the greatness of our people. And that is why we believe what Jesus had said: I was hungry, I was naked, I was homeless, I was unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and you did it to me.

That must be the story of innumerable couples, and the pattern of life it offers has a homely grace. It reminds you of a placid（安静的，热和的） rivulet（小溪，小河） , meandering（安步） smoothly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant trees, till at last it falls into the vastly sea; but the sea is so calm, so silent, so indifferent, that you are troubled suddenly by a vague（恍惚的） uneasiness（不安，担忧） .Perhaps it is only by a kink（扭结，奇想） in my nature, strong in me even in those days, that I felt in such an existence, the share of the great majority, something amiss（有弊端的，出缺点的） . I recognized its social value. I saw its ordered happiness, but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course.There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights. In my heart was desire to live more dangerously. I was not unprepared for jagged（锯齿状的） rocks and treacherous（奸滑的，背叛的） , shoals（浅滩，沙洲） it I could only have change-change and the excitement of unforeseen.